I’m having one of those spells where I don’t care to write, read, or create anything.
I feel empty – creatively speaking. Truth is I have for quite a long time.
Writing feels forced and I question whether I have anything original to put out there or if I truly want to put anything out there.
For too long I have been feeling this pressure (self-imposed) to create this, do that and frankly, it is exhausting and frustrating.
I’m tired. Not in the “I’m-so-tired-and-I-must-take-a-nap” way, just in the “I-don’t-want-to-think-or-do-anything” sort of way.
I like to do too many things. I love learning as much as I can about everything that I can and sometimes that is a curse.
Sometimes it makes it damn near impossible to figure out what I was meant to do in this life. Trying to narrow down my “niche” is more aggravating than revealing to me.
Maybe that is my problem. Maybe there are too many things and they are getting in the way of what I truly love. I tend to get overwhelmed by too much stimulation (and yet I crave it) Ask anyone who has visited a museum with me. They know. I can never focus on just one thing.
I know I need to figure this all out. It used to be quite easy.
Music and writing were my two things. They were my identity. Emphasis on were.
So who am I now – aside from being a mom and wife?