I just looked back at my blog posts from a year ago. I was making Polenta Pie and writing about my lack of creative focus. Today, one year later, I think I’m feeling more focused. I don’t know that I would say things are better than they were a year ago. Depends on what area of my life I’m thinking about.
I’m working on a friend’s website and hoping to finish it up within the next two weeks. I’m feeling pretty good about it, to be honest. Some days the code flows and other days, it’s a jumbled mess. But I know once it is finished, I’ll feel good about getting that big project completed.
Writing-wise, I am starting to miss working on my book and the book I’m working on with my other friend. The itch to start writing again is there but I’m not allowing myself to even glance in that direction until I finish the website.
Kettlebell-wise, I’m working out consistently. My strength is improving and I think I’ll be ordering the 22kg (48lb) kettlebell soon. I’m very excited about that. Weight-wise, I sort of slacked but I’m working on it. It will come. Consistency is my word this year as it has been something I have always lacked in my life. It’s tiring though. I work out, I eat right but I stay the same. I know I’m healthy but clothes don’t lie. It’s frustrating. I don’t feel what I weigh. I feel good. I just don’t like what I see in the mirror. I never have and perhaps I never will. I don’t know. It’s a constant battle with myself that I wish I could overcome. It doesn’t matter what others say, if I can’t come to terms with it myself things will never change.
It’s been difficult blogging lately. I miss the early days of my blog when I just wrote what was on my mind and what moved me. I feel like I’ve gotten away from that. I long for simplicity. And I know I alone hold the key to that door.
I’m really looking forward to my morning’s with Mary Oliver, my journal and a cup of cardamom-laced coffee out on the deck again. I’ve missed that. I’m praying this year picks up some positive, happy momentum and ends on a high note. There’s plenty of time left for improvement. 🙂 For that, I am thankful.