Hee hee! Oh boy, how much time have you?
I’ve got pet peeves a plenty. Are you certain you want to know?
Where to begin, where to begin? *taps fingers on top of desk and peers up at the curtains for answers that aren’t there but what the heck, it was worth a try.
Lists are always a good place to start so here we go! Strap in!
1. Rude people. That goes for people lacking manners and common decency. Seriously people! Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated! It’s not that hard! And for God’s sake, SMILE! I promise, your face will NOT crack (unless you’ve been injecting botulism into your face regularly and if you have, well, it AIN’T helping)
2. People who SIT in the freaking LEFT LANE and do not move over. Here is a tip. The LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING. MOVE over to the RIGHT lane when you are finished passing someone for Pete’s sake!!!
3. People who do not know how to MERGE into traffic from the off-ramp. OH MY GOD! PEOPLE! DO NOT CREEP IN (unless traffic is at a standstill). If traffic is moving, build up your speed and get the heck onto the highway! You do NOT come to a freaking complete STOP! *pounds head into desk
4. People who are unaware of those around them and take their damn old time while standing right in the middle of an entry way chatting with someone else and forcing people to squeeze around them. MOVE to the side people! Jeez!
5. Ignorance and intolerance. I always put these two together for some reason because, well, they just fit. I hate, nay, I despise people who are stupid. I’m talking about those who refuse to educate themselves-who just live in oblivion. They do nothing to further their minds. It’s not that they are dumb intellectually. They are just lazy. And usually, I find intolerance comes from those who do not educate themselves. There are exceptions as with anything. Intolerance is a two way street. I have no patience for it. Listen to one another, dammit! Learn! Shut your pie hole for once and just listen and then it will be your chance to speak but THINK before you open your mouth.
6. Space invaders. No, not aliens and no, not the game (although it is heck of a lot of fun!). I’m talking about people who don’t respect your space. That space is reserved for special people, okay? I’m also talking about those who come into your home try to “take over” the place. They have this personality that tries to dominate everything. It is exactly what my father tries to do. I hate it. I dropped a couple “friends” because of this sort of behavior. My life is too short to deal with toxic people who try to act all superior and domineering. I detest people who do that. It’s my home. My kid. My life. Deal with your own crap and leave mine the hell alone.
7. People who underestimate my intelligence or knowledge. I cannot tell you how much I HATE THIS! Okay, I’m not your average Joe. I read. I read a lot. I don’t like NOT knowing things. So I have a tendency to educate myself on everything I can about certain subjects that interest me. I hate it when people finish my sentences. I hate it when people try to “break down” what it is I’m saying or assume what I mean. Don’t poke me, do not go there. You won’t like me when I’m poked. 😛
8. Number six sort of goes with this one. I do not like people who try to psycho-analyze me. My dad did this all the time. It makes me want to rip someone’s hair out by the roots and feed it to them. God forbid I should stand with my arms crossed because oh my goodness, that means I’m being defensive. Don’t get me started. UGH.
9. Here’s another one – people who penny-pinch their tips. I’m not talking about those who are strapped for cash and can’t just unload the kitchen sink on a tip. I’m talking about people who make decent money who can AFFORD to tip but who try to mathematically figure out their tip to the half-freaking-cent. GIVE ME A BREAK! If your server did a good job, tip them! Tip them well! If they didn’t do a good job, well then that is up to you how much to give them but please, for those who do serve you well – they work hard. They are on their feet and they have to deal with people all day long. And don’t forget, they serve you your food – the stuff you put into your mouth and eat. Be kind to your servers, please.
10. Hmmm…I really could go on and on but I don’t want to come across as the Grinch. I sum this all up by saying that I don’t like pettiness. I don’t like people who live in a bubble and forget about the world around them. I don’t like bullies. I don’t like people who try to boss me around. I can think for myself, thank you very much. And if you have a question or don’t understand my point, then freaking ask me. DO NOT ASSUME! Okay???
*WHEWIE! That was cathartic!
To end on a happy note after all that bitching, I’ll say this. Life is good. Life is happy. Muskrat farts taste like sugar cubes and come in the form of bubbles that pop in your mouth! I am the Queen of the Squirrels and don’t you ever forget it! I like the smell of skunks and moth balls and other odd scents. I am a complete and utter dork and I love it.
Now go forth and never commit the aforementioned pet peeves or I shall hunt you down and spray you with skunk oil. 😛