Scintilla Day Two: I’m a Grown up?

I’m not sure I’ve realized that yet.


I’m a grown up? When did that happen? Why? Do I have to admit to it, accept it, be it?

I don’t wanna. *insert me sticking my tongue out here

Okay, so it means being responsible for myself.

I am.

I am a mom and a wife so I definitely have my grown up responsibilities there and yes I take those very seriously but not in the straight face type of seriousity. Yes, SERIOUSITY. I’m abusing that word. I am a grown up. I can do that, so there. 😛 I went to college, earned two degrees, worked in both fields. I did the whole grown up “thing”.

But am I a grown up attitude-wise? Gosh, I hope not! People/grown ups, in large part, take themselves far too seriously!

I like to act goofy. I like to laugh. I like to watch kid’s movies and read children’s books. There is so much more scope for the imagination in them that the adult books just don’t have. (no not talking porn here, get your mind out of the gutter!) 😛

I don’t think I’ll ever grow up – not all the way. Physically I have. Mentally, yes I am a grown up. But in my soul of souls-heart of hearts-Tracy of Tracy’s – I’ll always maintain my childlike view of the world, at least I hope I will. I’m always hopeful (for the most part) always imagining, seeing the world around me through Tracy-tinted shades.

I still think it would be dang cool to live in a tree like the Keebler elves. Don’t you? I still dream of pushing through the back of an old closet in Spare Oom and discovering Narnia. I know that lamppost is softly glowing – waiting for me. I really get upset when the magic of something is debunked or revealed. I would rather live in ignorance thinking that bubbles form every time a fairy sneezes or farts. I’ll still search the flower beds at the farm for a stray seashell. I will gently turn it over to see if a cats eye marble grew there overnight. When I’m out at the farm, I’ll still look to see if a little birdy lost its underpants. **There was a flower or some sort of plant outside at the farm that when it shed something or other, it looked like a little netted pair of underpants. Grandma always told me that a little bird lost its underpants when we saw them lying on the grass. I cannot for the life of me figure out what plant they are from and I haven’t seen them in ages. Still, I love that memory.

Life is too damn short to be a grown up. Sure there are fun things we grown ups get to do. There are definitely some fringe benefits to being an adult, I do agree. Looking back though, I don’t think I was ever in that big a hurry to grow up. I had a magical childhood in so many ways. There were rough patches, for sure, but who doesn’t have that?

I’m not sure I remember the first time I realized I was a grown up. It took me a while to actually reach that stage as I do believe I was a late bloomer. I put it off for as long as I could.

Soooooo, I’m going to stick with the whole, I-am-a-grown-up? line of reasoning. Oh and be sure your voice goes up a the end of the “I am a grown up?” (yes, I know you read my posts out loud because they demand a theatrical read through) because it is still a question I ask myself each and every day.

I’m a grown up?

0 thoughts on “Scintilla Day Two: I’m a Grown up?

  1. I think that in order to stay active and vibrant as we get older, we HAVE to keep some part of us from growing up.

    My grandparents and my parents are great examples of that. My grandparents were involved with the circus, which was their way of expressing their childhood dreams of running away with the circus.

    My parents look & act much younger than their actual ages.

    My in-laws are the same age as my parents; yet, they act 25 years older.

    Keep that youthful attitude. It will serve you well with Anne Shirley and in your later years.

  2. “I would rather live in ignorance thinking that bubbles form every time a fairy sneezes or farts.”

    HELL YES! I like your attitude. Why does everyone want to grow up so badly? Where’s the fun in losing your imagination?

    • Hello Cassie! Never lose your imagination. EVER. That is something that must be protected at all costs! 🙂 I love your site. Anxious to read more! Thanks for commenting and stopping by!

  3. Your playfulness is just ONE of the many, many things that endear you to me, Tracy. I want you to promise me that you will NEVER change because to lose that part of you, that part that sneaks up on me in twitter and pulls me into an e-dance, that would be so tragic. You are loved!

    • I promise. And you are loved right back! I so hope to finally get to meet you in person one day and give you a HUMUNGUS (sp) hug. We can cavort in silliness together! e-dance. I like that!

  4. I never heard the thing about cat’s eye marbles. I’m with you though, will be 38 this year and swear I will never be grown. I don’t want to lose the innocence and wonder of my youth. .

    • Jason, my grandma used to place a cat’s eye marble under the seashells that were out in her flower bed. They would be scattered haphazardly throughout. So I would come over and she would tell me to go and check the seashells. Well, she had me believing that marbles came (grew under) from seashells. You should have seen my marble collection! It was glorious! It is one of my favorite memories. She was such an awesome lady.

  5. Wait a minute – how did you know I do theatrical read-thrus of your posts? Are you spying on me??

    Also, I need a pair of Tracy-tinted glasses. I could use them from time to time, I think.

    • I knew it! I just knew it! LOL! I’ll make you a special pair. But I think Amanda-tinted glasses are pretty dang special.

  6. There’s nothing wrong with the idea “You’re as young as you feel and want to be.” Really, a life without mirth and wonder is probably pretty flat. Like stale, cold, weak tea. Who wants to be invited to that tea party? I’m going to one with a Hatter, if you please.

    • Mirth. Such a great word. Yes. Life with mirth. Live in mirth. My dear, I would love to go to such a tea party with you!

  7. I’m with you! We can be grownups in all the ways we have to be, and still hold onto our inner child… for dear life! That is where the magic lies.

  8. You have an effervescence that I covet and yearn for. It makes my world okay to know that there are people out there dreaming up pantsless birds.

    • Oh Jen, thank you. I know you have that within you. I’ll dream big enough for both of us and share. Poor little birdies, eh? 😀

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