A little Bay City Rollers anyone?
It is indeed Saturday night! I’m righteously happy. Enjoying a little Cranberry Raspberry Wine, smoking the tobacco pipe and contemplating my novel whilst listening to the soundtrack from “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”. We have come a long way, baby – since 2010. My mind is a-twirl with so many thoughts right now! It is snowing outside and Winter feels like it will never end but then I remember that March – blessed March is but a few days away. I also remember that I am going to turn 39 years old this year!
Age – my age – is not something that really bothers me. I believe age is in what you make it. You can either FEEL your age or feel whatever age you want to feel so as long as you are enjoying life and not looking like a moron. I feel more like a 28 year old than a woman in her late 30’s. I feel more free and more alive at this age than I ever did when I was younger. I am only now figuring out who the HELL I am. And I rather like this person I am. Is that a bad thing? Does it sound conceited? I hope not as I intend it NOT to be conceited but rather, truthful.
It feels great.
The constraints. The limitations. The frakking worries I used to have are fading. I am closing the door on them and focusing on all the things I CAN do. I love it. It’s been a slow process. I think my main concern is making sure that my child does not go through some of the things I went through. I want her to have the confidence, the assurance, the peace of mind and the independence I never had growing up.
I cannot explain how this feels really other than “freeing”. Sure, I have my self-doubts still. I still have a long row to hoe but I’m getting there. I am getting there, my friends!
Thank GOD for Saturday nights, for wine, for Black Cherry Pipe Tobacco and YOU!
Have a smashing weekend!