December 11 – 11 Things
What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?
(Author: Sam Davidson)
*Note – you might want to get yourself a cup of coffee or tea and something to eat because this little beauty is a looooong one!
In no particular order:
1. Negativity (my own included)
2. Toxic people (emotional vampires)
3. Financial worries
4. Shorter hair
5. Diapers (not for me!)
6. Additional weight (the kind that hangs on your body)
7. Writer’s Block
9. Doubt (self and otherwise)
How will I eliminate these things from my life and how will their absence change my life?
Getting rid of negativity isn’t difficult, it’s all about maintaining a positive heart and attitude. The trouble is in the maintenance. It is so easy to slip into negativity-when things don’t go as planned or when you are surrounded by other negative people. Sometimes just thinking too much in general can bring on a case of negative-itus! The challenge is to not go there. The ideal is to shut the mind – close the doors to negativity and focus on positive energy.
For instance, when I smile or laugh, chances are, someone else will smile or laugh too. If I frown or look sour, there’s no positive current flowing through me or from me. My emotions affect those around me. Their emotions affect me. Guarding those emotions are important. It doesn’t mean be unemotional or closed off, it just means I need to be cognizant of what I am feeling and how it could be impacting those around me. I see it most in my three-year-old. If I am cranky or stressed, she is “naughty” and super-charged. When I am calm and happy, she is her normal adorable fun-loving self and rarely gets into trouble. Constant vigilance is necessary. It isn’t easy but it is necessary.
Toxic people/emotional vampires is closely related to negativity. I talked about emotional vampires in one of my other posts and this is one thing I need to keep tending to as I have this last year. I will admit, I’ve done a decent job of shutting out the toxic people in my life. It sounds dreadful, I know. The very act of shutting someone out of my life sounds cruel and heartless- but it is something that has to be done when certain people bring only negativity and pain with them. I’m talking about the kind of pain that is inflicted emotionally. My dad is a great example of that. He is what I call a space bully. He comes into your home and his very presence has this almost “bullying” or dominating effect without him even saying anything. He has this attitude that he must dominate every situation. He was a dominating husband 0r at least he tried to be – with my mother and he has always been a dominating father. He spews his vitriol and pain around and doesn’t care where or whom it hits. When he is upset or angry he takes it out on those around him and usually his emotionally punching bag is me. I refuse to be that any longer. But it requires very little if any contact with the man. Thankfully, he moved out of state this year and I rarely if ever, have to see him.
Financial worries – spend less, be more thrifty and stop sweating the small stuff. We are not the most thrifty of people and that is one thing we really need to get better at. I don’t need to be rich, just want bills paid off and be able to buy books whenever I want and help those around me as much as I can-when needed and without worry.
Ah, the vanity of it all – shorter hair – means no more whacking my hair on impulse when I am feeling down about myself. I promise to grow my hair out and not think about it so much! I really hate short hair on me, I know what others say – that it is cute and yada yada yada but I don’t feel cute and only recently realized that I cut my hair as a way to punish myself. Sick, I know. I never said I was perfectly rational, did I? 😛
No more diapers! Again, I repeat, this is not for me. I’m talking about my three-year-old just in a case there are any wisecracks about me using Depends or something. (Not that there’s any shame in that) We are a little behind on the potty training schedule. It’s been slow but we refuse to rush her or stress her out over it. It will come and we are working on it. But I will be happy when we are out of diapers for good!
Additional weight just means I need to keep up my workouts and watching what I eat as I am doing. This year I slacked on my workouts (a lot) but I’ve maintained my weight. Oh look, another place I let negativity seep in and get in the way of ME. I just need to ramp it up a notch (the workouts, not the negativity). I would love to run a half-marathon or full marathon at some point. I just wish I had friends who were physically active as I like to be. It would be nice to have a running partner and someone to push me and vice versa. For me, my focus is purely health and preventative measures to ensure I don’t have late life health issues.
Writer’s block – pretty self-explanatory. I need to not have it. Ha! I need to pick up that heavy block, hoist it overhead and smash it into a kazillion pieces. Instead of saying I have it, I need to block the block. Corny, yes, I know. I’m all about the corn.
Laziness, doubt, fear and complacency – all sort of work together. I’m not lazy when it comes to work. I’m more lazy when it comes to my attitude and things I know I need to be doing but don’t because of doubt and fear which inhibit me and pave the way for complacency! (Insert deep breath here after long sentence) How’s that for fitting them all together? But it is true! Okay, okay, so laziness and complacency are almost the same thing but they really bookend doubt and fear, don’t you think? I constantly doubt myself because of my fear of failure (thank you, Sir Ken Robinson for pointing this out) and my fear of failure has been something that has plagued me my entire life. As I stated before, my father did not accept failure. He didn’t like mistakes. I even had teachers who scoffed at me for mistakes or questions I would have.
For example, I like math but I am not very good at it. Why? Because I have to sit down and understand EACH and every single step. If I am missing one part of it, I am lost. Math is black and white. You can’t miss one tiny part of it and expect to get the right answer. I cannot do shortcut math. I have to write it ALL out. When I asked my math teacher(s) to explain one step – which obviously everyone else got in a split second-he would chastise me. So, I just shut up and never asked any more questions. See how that can sort of set a kid up to be afraid to fail? Some might let it roll off their back, not me. I blame it on my over-sensitive nature. Yes, I am extremely sensitive and that didn’t help in this case. Making mistakes or failing is to disappoint or be a disappointment to others and that really bothers me. I know I need to stop caring so much about that, but it’s a hard habit to break. I’m working on it. This is perhaps my biggest hurdle to jump this coming year.
I’m going to keep on trying to get over that fear. I really think it is fear of failure that drives all the other issues (not counting diapers). I need to figure out how to overcome and conquer it. I just know I haven’t quit trying and I will NOT quit trying. And in 2011 – I will try even harder. 🙂