post by Inky | | 2

Juicy – #aprilmoon14

Juicy

What feelings does this word evoke? What sorts of memories does it recall? Which of your senses start to tingle? How would you represent what this word means to you?

—–

Juicy

A life lived full
and bursting at the seams –
a mouthwatering endeavor of
biting into its succulency
allowing the sweet nectar of joy
to rain down.

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post by Inky | | 4

Courage – #aprilmoon14

Courage

What feelings does this word evoke? What sorts of memories does it recall? Which of your senses start to tingle? How would you represent what this word means to you?
_________

Courage

It’s silent
it’s loud
it rages and broods
it lies deep within each of us
waiting to be called upon
summoned when least expected,
at the ready when most needed.

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post by Inky | | 4

Promise of Spring

IMG_0993The hand of Spring
passes over
muted landscape
daubing the trees
with the slightest whisper of green.
So much promise
begins right here –
one
bud
at
a
time.

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NaPoWriMo2014

NaPoWriMo2014

It’s National Poetry Month! And as part of NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month) I plan to write a poem a day during the month of April.

post by Inky | | 0

National Poetry Writing Month 2014 – My Nightmare

My Nightmare

Fuzzy at the edges
and of one thing I am certain
-a nightmare.

Why you cross my mind
I know not.
And yet you do.

Not soft, warm memories
of better times
but a horrifying
reminder of the monster you are.

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NaPoWriMo2014

NaPoWriMo2014

It’s National Poetry Month! And as part of NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month) I plan to write a poem a day during the month of April.

post by Inky | | 0

So This is What I’ve Been Up To…

Think of it as a stream of conscience writing. It’s me just sort of splattering myself on the “page” and desperately trying to get the wheels inside my head rolling. I start so many blog posts on here and then never get around to completing it or I just save the draft and never click “publish”. Today, I will finish a post and I will publish!

I have been writing regularly on my other blog, Defining Tracy but that is more about my kettlebell training than anything else.

I’ve toyed with shutting this blog down for good. I can’t seem to bring myself to that point. Blogging used to be so fun and I always felt like I had something to say. But lately – that is not the case. My creative mind isn’t speaking to me lately. I know it is up to me to “tap into” it. Maybe I’m just not allowing myself to. I know the best way to get the juices flowing is to actually sit down and write. Just write. How many times have I told myself this very thing? I have no problem scheduling in my kettlebell training. Why should it be any different for my writing? Right? Right!

I have every intention to sit down and write on here, work on a story, chat with my writing group online and then the day passes by and none of that happens. My time management sucks, to be quite frank.

And it isn’t that things are bad. Life is very good! My problem is that I want to do too many things and there is never enough time in a day! And I get sidetracked easily. As much as I love winter, I am looking forward to being able to get outside more and sit on my deck. I miss that. Which reminds me, I need to stain the deck this spring. It’s due for it. Plus I need to prune the bushes and trees in the yard before too long.

Yesterday it was in the glorious 50′s so I took my kettlebell workout outside and did 1000 swings with the 16kg (35lb) bell. It felt great and took me about an hour to complete. The fresh air invigorated me. I had the windows open in the house to chase out the stale Winter air. I got to talk to a dear friend on the phone for a bit which is always nice. It was a grand day.

My husband has a new job and is doing ever so much better now. He likes what he is doing which is a big deal. He comes home happy and refreshed rather than beaten down and dragging his sore, tired feet. It does my heart good to know he is enjoying his new job.

My daughter is just a few months away from completing her kindergarten year. It’s hard to believe. She has grown so much, not just physically but intellectually and emotionally. It’s so fun to see her growth.

News wise for my part, I am training for kettlebell competition. I purchased two competition bells recently, an 8kg and a 12kg. The 8kg is just for technique and training while the 12kg is for both but also for competition. I eventually want to get up to the 16kg but first I must work on my technique, form and stamina! I plan to compete in the 10 minute snatch competition. This is where you are allowed only one hand switch. I have a lot of work to do but I’m seeing small, steady improvement. Not sure when I’ll compete as that is still up in the air but it will happen at some point. :) At least now I have a focus. I need that.

Other than that, not much is new. I just need to try to figure out how to gather my day so I get done the things that need to get done. And I will. I will!

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Alignment

IMG_4454

Relaxed and at peace amongst the trees.

The picture you see is one I took last weekend up at the farm. My daughter and I went for a walk outside as she wanted to hug the trees and talk to them. I felt so calm, so happy and so at peace I wanted to capture that moment.

It’s been a long time since I felt like myself.  For the first time in a while I have energy, my mood is up and I feel good.

There’s been a shift. I can feel it. I almost forgot what it was like to feel peaceful and happy.

A few years ago something happened to cause me to sort of block myself off from the world. I had been playing with the idea of becoming a creativity coach. I love to encourage people. It makes me feel good to see others succeed and do well.

I reached out to someone who seemed to be floundering but my concern was not appreciated in any way, shape of form. They let me know in the most vulgar terms you can imagine where to go and what to do with myself.

This was a person I truly respected for their creative abilities. I didn’t know this person well but I hated to see them hurting and wanted to reach out. Perhaps I shouldn’t have.

This person’s email shook me to my core – quite literally. I never had anyone rail at me in such a way. I remember shaking as I read it. I broke down in the shower and then the self-doubt made its move on me and set up shop.

I wrote an apology to this person – for intruding and wished them well. That was the end of that “friendship”.

I shut down. I stopped working out. I stopped going outside for walks. I stopped a lot of things. I closed myself off from friends to an extent. 

I don’t think I fully realized this until last weekend. I’m reading a book about our “energy” that we each have. Something I was reading made me think about my husband and the positive shift in his energy and how things are now looking up for him career-wise. I asked him a few questions and I realized exactly the moment his negative shift happened and things went downhill a few years ago. It was then I saw the connection to the recent surge of good things in his life.

From there, I made the connection to when things went to heck for me. Funny how a moment of clarity can bring everything into focus. It was one of those “aha” moments.

Once I realized this, it was like the wall fell away – brick by brick – it all came crumbling down. It all made sense.

I’m not saying I’m back to 100 percent. But I’m on my way.

Right now it seems like things are in alignment. We’ll see where this takes us. I’m filled with more hope than I’ve had in a very long time.

 

Nature Lover – Day 12 – #Cultivate2014

Mrs. Mediocrity writes:

Get outside.
Some of the best lessons I’ve learned in life I learned in my garden. Patience. Tenacity. How to move past disappointment and begin again. That change is inevitable, no matter how much we plan.

There is always something to marvel at, something to wonder at, something that takes me outside of myself.

So go outside. Turn your face to the sky. Inhale the universe. Splash in mud-puddles. Catch snowflakes on your tongue. Spread a blanket on the ground and stare at the stars. Listen.

What do you hear? How can you add more time with Mother Nature to your life this year?

Nature Lover

Nature Lover

I used to spend more hours outside than I did in the house. And then, when I had to move away from the country my time outside became less frequent. With it, my joy decreased as well. It’s only when I get up north to my uncles’ property that I feel invigorated. I hope to spend more time outside this year. I need it. It is where my soul is most free.

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I’m participating in Cultivate 2014. It’s a chance to  reflect and manifest what lies ahead in 2014. Won’t you join us? Sign up here

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