#cultivate15 – Maps – Day Sixteen

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Map: Imagine a map existed, guiding you towards your dreams. Try to envision the route. How are you going to map out your dreams for 2015?

I’m not sure I want a map.

In the past, when I’ve tried to lay out my course – it’s only made things more complicated and disappointing.

I think it is good to have goals and plans but I’ve always been such a control freak over things that I think it is time I just let go and do my best to enact the things I want.

I’m going to keep it simple this time around and just see where the current takes me.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Follow Your Heart – Day Fifteen

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Follow Your Heart: Did you follow your heart last year? Where will you follow your heart to in 2015?

I think I did – in large part. I tried to. Mostly it was a year of getting back in the saddle – getting involved and moving out of stagnancy. I came alive.

This year, I plan to continue that. My biggest thing is I want to be outside more. I want to do more and live more and finish things. I want adventure and happy excitement. That is what I am striving for.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Friends – Day Eleven

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Friends: We need people who nurture us. Friends provide care, support, encouragement, and enjoyment. Are you treating your friends in a nurturing, supportive manner? How can you cultivate the friendships you hold dear?

I love my friends and I try to be a good support to them. I don’t always manage to be the best at that as sometimes life just gets to be too much and I get sidetracked. The last several years were rough personally so I sort of shut myself off from everyone outside my home. Last year, that changed and I started making more friends and reaching out more.

My online friends have been incredibly supportive and I appreciate them so very much. I hold them dear.

I am blessed, especially when it comes to my friends.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Children – Day 10

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Children: Perhaps you’re a parent. Perhaps you’re an aunt or uncle. Perhaps you just associate with people who have kids of their own. Regardless of how you’re related, the way we interact with the children in our lives makes a significant impact on their lives. Are you setting a good example? How can you nurture the next generation?

I think we are setting a good example. We try to. We do the best we can. We only have one child so our attention is centered around her. She goes with us pretty much everywhere. We discuss things, we listen, we show her everything we can and include her in conversations about various subjects. We try to expose her to as much diversity and knowledge as possible.

We hear from teachers and other parents and friends what a happy, caring, polite girl she is and it makes us incredibly proud. She has the biggest heart and looks out for others. Her thirst for knowledge is so fun to watch! I think we are on the right path. Is she perfect? No. Who is? I know I’m not!

I love this little girl who brightens this world so very much.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Significant Others – Day Nine

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Significant Others: When we choose to become romantically involved with someone, we’re opening ourselves to a very deep relationship. How can you nurture a healthy, loving relationship with your partner? If you’re not romantically involved with someone, you may choose to evaluate former relationships to identify ways in which you’d like to nurture future relationships.

One of the things my husband and I do – or try to do – is check in with each other. We probably don’t do it as often as we did in the early years of our marriage but we do maintain a good line of communication between us. I think that is key – in any relationship.

Also, a good sense of humor. We make each other laugh. To me, the ability to make fun of oneself or look silly and not “mind” is extremely important. It was one of the things about my husband that made me realize he was the one I would marry. A person who does not take themselves too seriously is a person who can handle almost anything.

We have a lot of the same interests and we genuinely enjoy being with each other. He – aside from my mom – is my best friend. We look after each other. There are days when I am up and he is down or vice versa. That is when we bolster each other even more. It’s a true relationship of give and take. That’s not to say we don’t have our disagreements or days where we get frustrated with each other but those are very far and few between.

The most important thing in a healthy relationship though, is communication, communication, communication. :)

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Parents – Day Eight

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Parents: Whether they’re still alive or long since passed, biological or adopted, our parents were the first people to teach us about relationships. How can you cultivate a stronger, healthier relationship with them? How can you reconcile your past with your present and future?

This is a complicated question for me in some respects.

My mom is my best friend – aside from my husband.

She and I have always been close. I know without a shadow of a doubt that she loves me with all of her being and that she has always been there for me and will always be there for me. She has been my role model, my inspiration, my rock, my biggest fan, my everything throughout my life. I could not ask for a better mother.

My father, on the other hand, is “dead” to me. He is a bastard and I hope I never see him again. Our story is the complicated part of this question because of who he is and what he has done to our family and to me. The whole idea that blood is thicker than water is hogwash. So I do not intend to ever cultivate a relationship with him ever again.

Reconciling my past and with my present and future is and was cutting him out of my life for good.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Appreciate – Day Seven

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Appreciate: Cultivate isn’t about being in a constant state of happiness — it’s about practicing happiness, much like you’d practice a sport or musical instrument. How can you infuse more appreciation for the people, places, and things that bring you joy?

By acknowledging those people, places and things.

By giving thanks for having them in your life.

By giving back.

By letting them know what they mean to you.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – What Matters Right Now – Day Six

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What Matters Now: Cultivate is about living in the here and now. What matters most to you right now? How are you going to nurture what matters during 2015?

Living in the moment.

Expecting nothing but receiving wholly.

Savoring the little things and allowing those moments to fully sink in without rushing on to the next thing.

Experiencing life as best I can.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Healing – Day Five

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Healing: The Cultivate project is all about healing yourself. How might you heal yourself, your relationships, and/ or your community this year?

I don’t feel like I have a lot of healing -overall- to do this year. Last year was really the time for that. This year is more about transformation for me.

That said, there is a friendship I have to think about. I’m disappointed and hurt and trying to “get over it” and just move on. Easier said than done. I have to find a way to not be disappointed by people. That’s the hard part – letting go of expectations. Funny thing is, I don’t really have any expectations of friends other than just be my friend, take me as I am and be understanding as I am with you. It’s hard to believe that is too much to ask of anyone and yet…

So I shrug my shoulders, move and and realize it is their loss. Not mine.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Health – Day Four

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Health: How did you treat your body last year? You only get this one vessel one time around. In what ways can you cultivate better health for your body this year?

I think I listened more to my body. I moved more. I worked on nourishing myself more.

I fed myself after depleting my system too much the year before. In 2013, I was at a point where my body was in desperate need of replenishment. So 2014 was about just that – replenishing it with nutrients.

This year is about taking it a step further and being more mindful of my choices and eating to live – eating to nourish and savoring that which I feed myself. The older I get the more I appreciate this body and what it can do. So now, rather than criticize it, I honor it.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Let Go of Old Frames – Day Three

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Evaluation & Cultivating Self-Care:

Let go of old frames: How are you framing yourself, your relationships, your community, and your dreams? Could you reframe these as begin 2015? What do you need to let go of to cultivate your best life in 2015?

I’m getting involved more than I have in the past. Last year I joined a fundraising committee at my daughter’s school that I really enjoy being a part of.

I was also involved in county party politics (again) as it was an election year but really, I don’t care to be a part of that any longer. It’s not fun anymore. Rather, it has become far dirtier and more rotten than ever. Too many of the people involved are toxic. I don’t want anything to do with it aside from helping my mom out where she needs it. The sooner I can untangle myself from the political involvements I have, the better.

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Evaluation & Cultivating Self-Care – Day Two

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Evaluation & Cultivating Self-Care:

Reflection: What did you set out to accomplish last year? What have you done to cultivate your goals and your life? Did your intentions manifest during the year?

Last year it was about consistency and living fully. I did a fairly good job with this. I didn’t really set any goals for myself. Sometimes I wonder if goals are truly necessary. Sometimes I think they get in the way of true progress. I am happy with 2014 and feel I did the best I could. Compared to the previous couple years, 2014 was me kicking down a wall that had been in my way for far too long. ###

The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above.

Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


#cultivate15 – Reflection – Day One

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Evaluation & Cultivating Self-Care:

Reflection: What did you set out to accomplish last year? What have you done to cultivate your goals and your life? Did your intentions manifest during the year?

My word

Consistency

Last year, my word was consistency. My goal was to maintain a level of consistency in everything I do rather than flit about from one thing to another.

I did fairly well for the most part, the first half of the year – especially with my kettlebell training. Then mid-summer, things started to get hectic as I helped my mom with her political party stuff up north (also it was an election year) and I helped out at their county fair booth.

Then it was the start of the school year and as I am on one of the fundraising committees and our big event is in November, my days and weeks were consumed with preparations for the event. My personal stuff fell to the side, my workouts were hard to keep up and when I did get home from working on things, I was beat.

By the time the elections were over and the fundraising event had been held, my health was on a downward spiral and I was sick for about a month and a half afterwards. I was diagnosed with pneumonia just before Christmas and promptly put on antibiotics.

I’m working on building my energy back up and this Monday, I will resume my kettlebell training and slowly build my strength back.  I am looking forward to this. It has been too long.

2014 was a terrific year for me though. I got out more. I did more. I felt more alive than I have in a long time and it was so good! I’m taking this with me into 2015 and looking forward to being more active, more consistent and more “alive” than ever. :)

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The lovely Meredith Shadwill over at blog.sailorscorpio.com is the mastermind behind Cultivate! It’s a way to release – onto the page – our thoughts, goals and dreams for the new year – living with intention and creating new connections. I hope you’ll join us! To find out more, please click on the link above. 

 Share your responses using the hashtag #cultivate15 and tag @sailorscorpio, and join the Facebook group. Add your link to the blog roll at blog.sailorscorpio.com.


Tough Realizations

Every once in a while, in the midst of hurt and sadness emerges an understanding about the situation that helps to clarify things and put it all into perspective. It does not exactly alleviate the pain but it is a source of comfort.

I’ve always been sort of a loner. I have a lot of friends but not one best friend.  I never have. I was always the token friend – the one kept at the perimeter until needed, kind of like the pack of tissues one carries around in case they need it. It’s not a bad thing. I learned to accept it a long time ago. My mom is the same way. We are the ones who patch things up when other friends fight. We are the ones who are there to listen and lend a hand if need be. But we aren’t the first people go to unless they need something from us. We are often overlooked and taken for granted. It’s just the way it  is. If you are the yes person – life is grand. You are loved! All is swell until you have to say no or can’t do something as planned. Then, you are dropped like a hot potato. So much for understanding, right?

Sometimes it isn’t the most wonderful position in which to be. Sometimes it downright sucks. It can be lonely and frustrating.

A recent situation is making me question a friendship and whether I care to continue with it or just walk away. Part of me thinks, the hell with them, I don’t need this. The other part of me says, it’s just the way things are. They aren’t exactly toxic, they are just lacking in the basic manners and social proprieties I was brought up with. This is who they are and they won’t change. Obviously they need to feel important and special or they would not feel threatened and act as they are acting.

What I realized here thought, is that people like my mom and I are the ones who are tough enough to handle it. We are the ones who can take it and not be broken by it. People have dumped their crap on us time and time again but we survive. We deal with it and move on. It doesn’t mean we aren’t hurt because after all, we are human. But it does mean we can handle situations that would be far more difficult on others. We stew for a moment and then we take a deep breath and go about our day focusing on things that are far more important. I would much rather be on the periphery – right where I am.

I know I am loved. I know that I love. I also know who I am and that makes me happy.

 


The Joy of a Fixed Computer on a Snowy Sunday

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Creativity on Demand by Michael Gelb

It’s been a rather quiet weekend filled with delicate, yet slightly accumulating snowfall, reading, meditation and a fixed computer!

My new hard drive arrived Friday – much to my complete and utter delight. Jess replaced the hard drive in my laptop yesterday and now my computer is up and running and what’s more, there is no more spinning ball of death!!!!!!  I’d forgotten what it is like to NOT see that pesky little devil! It is so nice to not have it getting hung up in limbo and not be able to do anything. World of Warcraft runs smoothly and quickly once again. Life is good!

Indonesian Sandalwood Candle

Indonesian Sandalwood Candle

Last night we went out for dinner to one of our favorite restaurants – Koreana’s. Our seven-year old was beyond excited about going out for Korean food. She always orders fish cakes, Tekka Maki (sliced tuna roll sushi), Miso Soup and edamame although last night it was just the fish cakes and Tekka Maki.

It was the first time she or I had been out of the house since a week ago Friday. She has been on winter break from school and sick almost the entire time. Not fun. But we are both on the mend so that is a good thing!

We stopped over at World Market after supper and I picked up a new candle – Indonesian Sandalwood. It is heavenly. I also bought two new carpets for our bathroom. Both are circular and one is dark blue green for his sink and mine is a burnt orange for mine. I am going to slowly redecorate the bathrooms throughout this year and make them more aesthetically pleasing. I’m feeling that way about our living room as well. I’m researching some ideas for a more Asian inspired decor for a more Zen-like quality. This should be a lot of fun to plan. So if you have any tips or ideas, please feel free to shoot them my way! :)

After little pumpkin went to bed, Jess and I watched the movie “What If” starring Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan. It’s very sweet. I enjoyed it.

I hope you are having a wonderful weekend as well. Don’t forget to sign up for the Pay It Forward Art Making Project!  – details are in the previous blog post – just click on the link here. I do hope you’ll join in! I’ve got some great ideas for my projects that I’ll be sending out!


New Year Greetings!

It’s 2015! Happy New Year! It is a brand new day fresh with no mistakes in it – right? I’m excited about this new year and hope you are as well!

I switched some things around today as I brought my desk upstairs phototo use when I want to write by hand or just on the laptop. I pulled out one of our folding tables to exchange with it so I can leave my other computer screen and gaming keyboard, mouse other stuff downstairs. I made a couple changes on here since this picture I took this morning, but you get the idea. I like being able to move around and be upstairs or downstairs at my choosing.

I started my January reading and added a book to the mix. It is Eric Maisel’s “The Creativity Book”. I had the Kindle version but Amazon’s licensing expired – even though I paid for it – I can’t access it so I purchased the hard copy. This particular book is one I will be using throughout the year. Aside from that right out of the gate, I will be reading Michael Gelb’s newest book, “Creativity on Demand”.

I am also in Patti Digh’s 37DaysBookClub. I just finished the wonderful book, “Me Before You” by Jojo Moyes. I was sad to see it end as I really enjoyed Jojo’s writing style. I will be checking out her other books for sure. I also just finished (this year) – Lena Dunham’s book, “Not That Kind of Girl”. I know all about the controversy surrounding the book. In fact I was in the middle of reading the part that got everyone’s knickers in a knot when it went viral. It took me a while to get through the book because I tend to read four or five books at one time. It’s not a bad read. It’s not that much different than reading the ramblings of someone’s mind. It’s basically Lena’s observations on life from childhood on. We are two very different people from very different backgrounds and upbringing so I do have a difficult time connecting with her on many, many things but it is an interesting read – though not for everyone.

So I first hear about the “Pay It Forward Art-Making Project” through the wonderful Deborah Weber and was immediately intrigued! I know this is from 2014 but I want to do it this year. My friend Brandee from over at Brandeewine posted it on Facebook this morning. I signed up under her to do it but told her I had been planning on introducing it on my own blog rather than Facebook. So here it is – I copied the following from Deborah’s site(and made a couple adjustments) as it gives a really good explanation of what to do. As she said on her own site, this is something from a Facebook post so that is the reasoning for the “status update” language. I hope you will join in as this seems like an awful lot of fun!!!

I promise to make a small work of art for the first five people who comment on this post and say “YES, I want in”.  A ‘like’ alone is not enough of a commitment, nor is a comment about thinking Pay It Forward is a great idea. You must in turn post this as your status update and make something for the first five who comment on your status. The rules are simple: – It has to be your work, made by you, and the recipient must receive it before 2014 ends. – It can be anything art-based: a drawing/illustration or a conceptual work of art, a photograph, a knitted item, crochet, painting, cross-stitch, paper maché – or anything in between. I’m paying this forward thanks to Deborah Weber at http://deborah-weber.com.  

There you have it! I can’t wait to see who joins in and I cannot wait to get started!!

Happy New Year to you all.

InkyTwig (Tracy)